How Did I Get So Poor?

How, one might wonder, did an accomplished psychotherapist/artist/teacher/writer with a Master's degree end up so poor as to have to live in a car in the woods for awhile with two large, woolly, often muddy dogs?

A combination of bad timing, bad luck, poor judgement, and serious illness, I guess. I'm not going to tell you the whole long sad story and make you get out the violins for me, but I need to examine at least my current circumstances. Almost by accident, I ended up in a tiny town about forty-five minutes north of Tucson--worlds away, culturally. There is almost nowhere to work here, and nothing to do though it's pretty here. The school system is the only halfway decent employer, and I WORK for the school system, but not nearly as often as I would like to.

I had my own after-school and summer-school classes for a while, but budgets cuts knocked out my classes, and there went my dependable, albeit low, income. Now I substitute-teach, but there are so many unemployed teachers wandering around aimlessly these days that no one of us gets called in very often. There was a time when I could count on two to three days a week of teaching--now it's more like one day every two weeks.

I have a writing and editing business, and at times, I am gainfully employed. But, like most self-employment, there can be long dry spells in between jobs, and I can't figure out how to increase my business. I have a good website, I put up signs locally, I speak many words of mouth to everyone about it, but I guess that people in the Tucson area don't write very much. Or something. Editing for publication is a luxury many people cannot afford, and may not realize that they *need.* Many writers are in love with the sound of their own chosen language, and far be it from me to impose my standards upon their's. Do visit my website, though, if you are interested: www.tucsonediting.com .

I also advertise on Craigslist, all the time. This has led to me landing some *very* unusual and diverse jobs, but just not enough of them to pay the bills. Most writers who approach me through Craigslist end up using my services, because I'm GOOD; I just wish that there were more of them!

I am kind of stuck here. No, I am REALLY stuck here. I don't have the money to relocate, even if I had the reason. I can't travel for job interviews. I'm sufficiently disabled that I can't really hold a full-time job. And so, I limp along, every month wondering how on earth the rent and the utilities and the car insurance will get paid.

And SOMEHOW THEY ALWAYS DO! That is the "up" side to this post. Somehow, through some kind of grace, the money always appears just at the last minute. Never before, and never more than I really need. It's baffling to me, but I've believed in this kind of inevitability for so long now, and had it work so well, that it's become a law in my universe. I usually don't sweat the money thing for more than a few minutes at a time, because I know that THE BILLS WILL BE PAID, somehow, just in the nick of time. (What is a "nick" of time, anyway? A nickel?)

You get what you believe in. My challenge, and it's a tough one, is to start believing in, and manifesting, more money sooner. It's that simple, and that hard. MORE than what I need just at the last minute. MORE than just enough to pay the bills. Enough to live comfortably again--not in my old style, which was fairly lavish, especially in the foods and wines and clothing and travel departments--but in a style that makes it possible for me to no longer have to worry about it all every day.

That's my challenge, and a little of my story. Are you ready to take this journey with me? Are you ready to change your OWN limiting beliefs about what is possible for you, and explore the world of abundance with me? Think on it--it's a big step, and one that I myself haven't quite found the courage to take yet...

Treasures in the Trash: Free STUFF!

G'day, everyone...

Looking around my tiny house and my large front porch, I am aware of the fact that they are fully furnished--no, *over*-furnished--almost entirely with free STUFF. I paid nothing for almost everything I own now, except for a few clothes (thrift shops and yard sales) and some tchotchkes (sp?). Every piece of furniture, large and small, was either a found object or a donation...

The furnishings include: an off-white leather sofa and matching recliner chair in perfect condition, an antique peach velour wing-back chair, a vintage desk, a full-sized Serta Perfect-Sleeper bed, two antique "distressed" wooden dressers, an old oak dining table, various and sundry small tables, book cases, a butcher-block table, and a myriad of lamps. The books--and there are many--were either free or purchased from the local public library's "bucka' bagga' books" sales. My printer and my scanner both came from a dumpster and they work perfectly--in fact, the ink in the printer cartridge seems to be bottomless, as it has been working for a year now.

Fabrics that hang at the windows: free. Mirrors: free. A large electric piano keyboard: free. All kitchen appliances: free, or no more than $1 at a sale. I have one couch on the porch that I paid a whole $5 for, and a huge worktable that cost me helping someone else load an armchair into a pickup, and then he helped me with the table.

My antique Singer sewing machine, worth hundreds, cost me $8 plus a $4 belt. My treadmill and rowing machine were free. I did pay $14.99 for a fountain that graces my front porch, and $2.99 for a bird-feeder. Cameras (four of them), free. Kitchenware, free. Microwave, free. Audio equipment, free. My car, a Volvo Station Wagon (old), was a gift from a friend.

This all pleases me immensely, because I once owned a whole household full of STUFF, and all that STUFF was taken from me. All that was left was some artwork on the walls and a file cabinet full of papers. (Thank God for that!) Everything, just gone, while I was very ill in Arizona and couldn't get back to California in time to sort through and move my STUFF--so I lost it all. But, it turns out that new STUFF has been easy to come by, and too much of it, at that.

Friends have given me a lot of these items. I have also found many of them behind a thrift shop that was very choosy about what they kept for their own "collection," so they regularly discarded very attractive and usable items behind their store. (Sadly, they have moved to a new location now and the STUFF that they throw away is now piled behind locked gates, and I will *not* break the law, not knowingly anyway, when scrounging for STUFF.)

STUFF is everywhere, free for the taking. Try college dumpsters at the ends of semesters--your haul can be unbelievable. TVs, laptops, fine music equipment, major furniture, down comforters, beautiful clothing--just waiting for you.

Also, try www.craigslist.org and www.freecycle.org for more free STUFF. Sometimes you have to travel a bit of a distance, but almost anything you can think of eventually turns up on these lists. STUFF you can use, STUFF you can sell so you can buy more STUFF. Repeat after me: "There is no shortage of STUFF in the universe. I can find almost anything I want for free!"

What you *do* have to be willing to do is humble yourself. Put your pride away, and go over the top of that dumpster, after making sure first that you have a good way to get *out* of that dumpster! (Pulling your car right up next to it is often a good idea.) Again, be sure that local regulations do not preclude you from entering said dumpster--and then, go to town. Be prepared to get some odd and haughty, and even evil, looks from passersby, who just *know* that you are some kind of terrorist collecting parts for a major bomb. You might make new friends in or around the dumpster. Be prepared for anything. Smile. Carry ID, and Handi-Wipes in your car, though good STUFF dumpsters are usually a lot more sanitary than food dumpsters.

Other stuff may just be lying around outside, waiting for you. This is the easy stuff, as you don't have to plunge, hopefully feet first, into a large metal container that contains you know not what.

Carrying off a nice oak bookshelf that needs minor repair usually presumes that you have a vehicle. If you don't have a vehicle, you are more liberated than the rest of us! Free vehicle acquisition is not my area of greatest expertise, although I have managed to pull it off on three occasions. Be friendly. Convince people to *like* you, and you will get lots of free STUFF from them, perhaps even a car.

To be continued tomorrow. Right now, I have to go test out the free coffee grinder that a nice lady gave me at a yard sale today...

Brand-New Blog!

"Diving for Brie?" What on earth can she mean? Divers typically don't expect a deli cheese department to be spread out in front of them along with all the pretty coral and fishies...

"Diving for Brie?"

Well, folks, an alternate title for this blog was "Riches to Rags," but someone already has that one. "Living on Nothing" was another title I considered--already taken. So I have pilfered the title of the book that I haven't fully written yet, about living on practically nothing. I am someone who was formerly worth well over a million dollars on paper, and am now worth whatever I happen to have in my wallet on a given day. Sometimes that's only $.14, sometimes $140.00, but never much more. I live on food stamps, the occasional editing job, a bit of substitute-teaching, and the good graces of the universe.

Sometimes I have very dark nights of the soul, but somehow, I keep on truckin' and manage, now, to pay a very modest rent. I have lived in a car for extended periods of time with two large dogs, feeding them dog food procured from the local animal shelter, while I ate cans of Spaghetti-Os heated over a wood fire. I have been stranded in countless locations while I waited to raise the money to put gas in my tank. I have begged for small change for gas...

And I have gone dumpster-diving for food, hence the title of this blog. Yes, it is indeed possible to find an entire brand-new wheel of brie in a dumpster, discarded because it was past its expiration date. Cheese doesn't expire! It only gets better with time! I have found whole flats of perfect strawberries, dented cans of all descriptions, breads that were quite edible, gourmet olives, oils and vinegars and spices and salt and flour and...the list is endless.

Dumpster diving can be sloppy work--you want to dress properly for it. Boots, long-sleeved shirt, long pants and a hat are all helpful. Gloves are nice to have too, as you will doubtless encounter unsavory items in the course of searching for the savory ones. Dumpster diving is still legal in Arizona, where I currently reside. Be sure to check local regulations before you go "over the top," as you can be arrested for helping yourself to food that no one else wants. What a paradox!

How did I, who have a Master's degree in Psychology and a lot of professional counseling experience, end up in a situation like this? Beats me! Actually, when I had all that nice tidy money, I owned five houses, and then the recession of the early nineties hit and I was completely wiped out. I have been struggling ever since. I no longer live in the state where I was licensed--New Mexico--so I can't practice privately, or at least, I can't take insurance, which makes it almost impossible to get a viable practice going. I'm a writer and editor who gets little work, in spite of having a website, www.tucsonediting.com , and advertising regularly on Craigslist. I guess I live in an area where almost no one writes! I'm not a certified teacher, so I can only substitute-teach, and that work comes in very irregularly.

I once supported myself as a jeweler and glass beadmaker, but the Chinese jumped into the industry and flooded the market with masses of cheap handmade glass beads. Jewelry sales have dwindled as the recession has tightened; the demand for my beautiful one-of-a-kind baubles has fallen way off. I just can't figure out how to make a real living for myself, and so I continue a life of poverty.

But one fact sweetens this challenging situation, and it is one of the major themes of this blog-spot: I always get exactly what I need when I need it. Never more, and never ahead of time--always exactly the amount of money I need at exactly the moment when I need it. I believe fully in my ability to manifest in this way, as it has never failed me. Invariably, an editing job will come up at the very last minute, or I will find a twenty-dollar bill (I no longer beg for small change--that was an interim deal), or someone will appear on my doorstep offering to buy something I had for sale in a swap meet the week before, or... The possible sources of wealth in the universe are limitless.

I'm going to draw this to a close today, as this first post is a test post to make sure that the blogspot is working. I am planning to monetize this blog, and I apologize for that, but it seems it could be another way to bring in some income. I don't need much--I have learned to live on next to nothing, but I find that I do prefer to have gas and electricity and water and computer service, although I have lived without all of them, sometimes for long periods of time.

My message for today, to fellow readers who are struggling financially, is to Keep the Faith. The universe WANTS to support you; you need only ask. Haven't all of your most basic needs always, somehow, been met? Think about it...

Thank you for joining me on this journey!